Yesterday

Yesterday was rough.

As the assistant manager at the convenient store I work at Saturdays are by far the most stressful day of the week. Every Saturday we have a large milk/tea order and a large grocery/cigarette/other tobacco product order, all of which fall on me to put away before I leave, while . To make yesterday easier I scheduled it so that it was myself and someone else at 6am and then I had a second person come in at 9am. Instead the person who was supposed to come in at 6 didn’t show and wouldn’t even answer their phone. I tried to call everyone I could but no one would respond.

I ended up alone for those 3 hours and it was CRAZY busy. When the employee scheduled for the 9am shift came in and told me that the one scheduled to come in at 6 texted him and told him that he couldn’t work any of his shift I flipped out. My response was: “No shit! I figured that out 3 hours ago when he wouldn’t answer his phone.” I went on about how no one would answer and come in (or come in early) to help me. After I finally calmed down I felt horrible for flipping out on him. But after I was done freaking out I started crying and had a lovely panic attack in front of both him and a customer. It was awesome.

I hate showing that side of me but sometimes I can’t fully control when it will happen. Basically, I’m not always okay and it sucks to admit it, but it’s true. If anyone with a mental illness tries to tell you they’re always okay and don’t still struggle at times they’re probably lying.

Sorry, this was primarily to rant and admit that I still have to deal with some parts of my mental illness.

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